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ethandcoombes

What We Do In The Shadows…we talk about Mango!

Nadia stormed out of the house meeting and slammed the door.

“I cannot believe that Laszlo!” she said, baring her vampire teeth.

“I come in with some fantastic ideas about running the vampire theme park we’re building in England, and he just huffed and said he was leaving it all to some piece of fruit!”

She transformed into a bat and flew out of the window.

“I need some space away from my husband!” she shouted as she left.

Colin Robinson opened the door, left the room, and shrugged.

“She’s always so dramatic,” he told Guillermo.

“And she’s completely misunderstood what Laszlo was saying. He’s not leaving everything up to a piece of fruit! That would be just ridiculous…”

Guillermo giggled.

“Which fruit? A banana or a fig?”

Laszlo strode out of the room followed closely by Nandor.

“Mango, dear boy! Mango,” Laszlo said glumly.

“Besides, it’s vampire familiar stuff really. Paperwork, health and safety records, complying with data protection and environmental regulations, staff training…that new Martyn’s Law they’re bringing in…”

Guillermo’s eyes widened.

“We’re having staff?”

Nandor nodded: “Yes, Guillermo. You!”

Guillermo sighed.

“I might have known it,” he muttered.

Nando put his arm around Guillermo’s shoulders.

“With this Mango, it really won’t be much more work for you. You can keep all your records in the rain…” Nandor said.

“Cloud!” Laszlo shouted.

“Yes, cloud,” Nandor repeated.

“Our friends at Penarth Management showed us how we can access it from wherever there’s a fishing net…”

“Internet!” Laszlo shouted again.

“Yes, internet,” Nando said.

Guillermo sighed: “If I do all this will you finally make me a vampire?”

Nandor smiled: “Let’s talk about it after the theme park opens. We’ll need to recruit your replacement and train them. Lots to do!”

Guillermo nodded.

“I’ve raked the earth in your casket the way you like it, Master.”

Nandor clapped his back.

“Thank you, Guillermo, you’re the best familiar I ever had. Except for one during 17th century. He was exceptional!”

Guillermo asked: “Did you make him a vampire?”

Nandor shook his head.

“No, he got infected with smallpox and I just couldn’t face biting him. I don’t like my food to be too crusty, as you know…”



  • Find out how Mango’s online compliance software could help your theme park or attraction comply with health and safety regulations and get ready for Martyn’s Law. Book a free demonstration which will be delivered via Zoom. We can help you achieve the ISOs you need, too. Call Penarth Management on 029 2070 3328 or email info@penarth.co.uk

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